The Job No One Wanted
by CUtopia
Summary: How Severus Snape became Lockharts assistant in the Duelling Club - in a rather unusual way.


Entry for "Speed Drabbles" at "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments)"

'dust' 'sniff' 'citrus' 'twist' 'reach' and "Jumping jellybeans!"

Entry for the "Scavenger Hunt" at "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges and Assignments)"

10. Cornish Pixie

I hope you enjoy it, leave me a comment if you did :)

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><p>"No way I am going to waste my time with this... this... bungler!" Professor Flitwick exclaimed over the waves of sound that formed a loud discussion between the four Heads of House of Hogwarts who were gathered in the Headmasters' office.<p>

A few hours ago, Professor Lockhart had approached Dumbledore to ask for a permission to host a Duelling Club to lighten everyone's mood and distract the students from the recent attacks (and to show everyone how talented he was – or not.)

"But we need to have someone of you to be with him, or someone will get hurt," Dumbledore calmly explained after silencing his four colleagues by raising his hand. "You said it yourself, Filius."

"I would rather eat my own cauldron than to ridicule myself by being his assistant," Severus stated coldly and as Pomona and Minerva nodded with dark expressions, it dawned Albus that he would have a long evening of convincing ahead. If only he could find a way to twist this whole thing, that one of them would have to ensure that none of their students would end up in the Hospital Wing.

"This man only has dust under his peroxide blonde curls! Just remember when he did opened that cage full with Cornish Pixies in a room full of Second Years!" Pomona mumbled, earning looks from her colleagues – she rarely said anything that insulted other people. "Just remember the things he did to earn attention while he was still in school!"

"Well, who could forget that," Minerva snorted and Filius just shook his head, snarling:"Jumping Jellybeans, I never had had such a horrible child in my house before!"

Suddenly, the door to the office opened with so much force that it hit the wall and Rolanda Hooch stomped into the room, a expression on her face as if she had taken a huge bite from a citrus. She was holding some pieces of wood in her hand and upon taking a closer look everyone realised that the wood had used to be a broom.

"Rolanda, good evening," Albus said, feeling like the twist he had hoped for was slowly approaching. "How may I help you?"

"I... I am here to ask you for permission to kill this dickhead, Headmaster! Slowly and painful!"

"I would love to assist," Severus mumbled and Albus lifted one brow in amusement.

"What did he do, Rolanda?"

The young Quidditch mistress tossed the pieces of wood onto the desk with so much force that some pieces of parchment were sent flying off the edge.

"He destroyed half of our school brooms! I was by the broom closet, inspecting and polishing the brooms for the First Years flying lessons and suddenly, he approached me and told me he knew a brilliant Self-Polishing-Charm!"

Albus nodded, but he seemed more interested into the twigs that lay in front of him as he took four of them, holding them together as if he was comparing their length.

"Albus!"

"Huh? Oh, I am so very sorry... I just had a idea to solve the other problem we were just discussing before you came."

Albus arranged the twigs in his hand so they looked as if they had the same length and held it towards his colleagues.

"Pick one."

"What?!", Minerva exclaimed, staring at him in disbelief. "You cannot..."

"It is the same change for everyone, no one has a bigger disadvantage," Albus said with a small smile and Pomona was the first to roll her eyes and reach for the four twigs, pulling one from the Headmasters hand.

Comparing the twigs, Minerva had picked the shortest one and she received looks of pity from her colleagues, but she knew that they were all happy that the goblet had wandered past them this time.

"Very well, Minerva, I will tell Gilderoy to approach you concerning the planning. Rolanda, I will try my best to find a replacement for the brooms," the Headmaster then turned back to Rolanda, obviously happy with himself to have sorted out this problem.

"There is another reason why I want to kill him," Rolanda said, still looking angry. "It was pretty ugly, you know... He... he tried to flirt with me."

Severus on her right made a disgusted sniff and as he saw a bit of... jealousy flashing over the potions masters face, Albus knew that this was what he had been waiting for.

"I am going to take over the assistance at the Duelling Club, Headmaster!" Severus grumbled, stepping forward under the surprised looks of everyone before he turned on his heel, leaving the office with billowing robes.

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><p>Oops, my inner Snooch shipper broke out at the end...<p> 


End file.
